Sunday, November 25, 2012

1 year ago.....ours live changed forever.

Before I get into to what I'd like to say, I would like to encourage everyone who doesn't have health insurance for you or your child, to please try and find the best policy that fits the needs of you and your family.
I used to say that insurance was nothing but a big rip-off...boy was I wrong. The insurance that we have through my husbands job has been nothing less than a huge blessing, for out of the total of $397, 426.90 we have had to pay around a total of $500.00 out of pocket. All of this was for.....
83 chemo treatments
28 blood transfusions
22 platelet transfusions
5 bone marrow biopsy's
3 bone marrow aspirates
4 lumbar punctures
EKG's, MRI's, CT Scans, X-rays
unumerable blood draws and IV's and also includes.....
hospital stays, in-home nurse, nutrient and medical supplies, surgeries, doctors visits, clinic check-ups, nursing staff, etc.

So now, with all that said, Today, Nov. 25th, 1012, I would like to begin by thanking our Lord Jesus Christ for being with us continually the last 12 months and for loving guiding us. Our family has faced many valleys in the past, but nothing like the one we faced on Nov. 25th, 2011....that day, we would begin to face our stormiest valley ever.
Today marks our family's 1 year anniversary, the day all of our lives changed forever, and I say family because we face trials together. Though it has been a long journey to where we are today, we do know that God has been there with us every step of the way. The tears today are tears of joy, tears of realizing jsut how precious life really is, tears of knowing that there have been so many prayers lifted up to the portals of heaven and prayers that have been answered.
The Lord has been so good to us for He has surrounded us with family and friends, who at any given moment, would stop everything there were doing and pray...
They prayed for our family, they prayed that God would give us all the strength we would need, they prayed that God would guide us through, they prayed that God would give us the grace we would need to face our adversary, and He did. They prayed that our faith in Him would not fail, and it didn't. They prayed for the Dr.s, the Nurses, everyone involved with taking care of Heaven.....they prayed and God answered.
We are so greatly blessed to have a family and such wonderful friends that have sat themselves aside to pray for us as they did. Being strong and having courage needed to face your adversary doesn't come naturally, it's not something that you are born comes through prayer, it come with having faith in our Lord Jesus Christ.
It was 1 year ago today, black Friday, that we heard the words that no parent ever dreams of hearing..."Your child has leukemia". Those words still ring in my ears today...those words bring such a lump in my throat...those words will linger in my heart as long as I live. I have been asked on several occasions..."What went through your mind when you heard the news?" My response is..."You really can't think on one thing inparticular, for your mind begins to race with so many thoughts at once." But the one thing that I picture most often in my mind is how Heaven and I just held onto each other like never before.
For those of you who have known Heaven for any length of time, you know how she loves being on the move, outside taking pictures, having fun....anything. Well, the chemo treatments took her away form many things she loved to do, but by Gods grace and your prayers and encouraging words, she is getting back into the things that she loves to do. Her smile rarely leaves her face now and she has been such an inspiration to so many people with her faith and courage that she has shown. Her faith in the face of all she has encountered and experienced is a light for all who really know her. Heaven has such a drive in her to be back to her "normal" self and to get back to doing all those things she loves to do.

So with all that being said, I would like to leave you with some words from the heart of a Momcologist.....
I pray you never have to hear the words that "Your child has leukemia"
I pray you never have to hear about the "prognosis"
I pray you never have to watch your child prepare to undergo chemo, have a port surgically implanted in their chest, connected to an IV pole for weeks at a time and look at you with fear in their eyes and say "Don't worry Mom, it's gonna be o.k."
I pray you never have to hold your child while they vomit green bile and all you can feed your child throughout the day is Jell-o
I pray you never have to watch the "cure" you prayed for slowly take away you childs identity as they lose their hair, become thin from weight lose, barely able to walk and look at you with hope in their eyes and say "Mom, it's gonna be o.k."
I pray you never have to stay in the hospital for weeks at a time, where there isn't much privacy, sleeping on a small couch with your face to the wall, where you cry in muffled silence
I pray you never have to see a mother, alone, huddled in a dark hospital corridor crying quietly, after jsut being told "there's nothing more they can do"
I pray you never have to use every bit of the energy you have left, with all that is going on around you, to remain positive for your child and all the while feelings of guilt, hope and fear overwhelm you
I pray you never know what it like to take your child home, grateful but so afraid, knowing the chemo has damaged your child's body, they are 30 lbs. lighter. pale, bald and scarred and they look at you with faith in their eyes and say "It's going to be o.k. Mom"
I pray you never have to face the few family and friends that have stuck by you and hear them say "Thank God its over" because you know it will never be over, but you carry the strong faith that it is
Through it all your life becomes a whirlwind of doctors visits, blood test, check-ups, etc. and you try to get your life back to normal while living in mind-numbing fear.
 I pray you never have to experience what our family has had to experience for only then will you understand
And lastly, I pray that you learn to love your children, to show compassion to them, to nurture them, to let them know that you are there for them, our children are a gift from God and He wants us to guide them and listen to them. Please, I ask, hug your child today and thank God that you were blessed with them.

With tons of Love,
Thank you all for being there with us

No comments:

Post a Comment